UNFAZED

THE BEGINNING

The kerosene had finished in the stove and there was no reserve, just after mum had finished preparing breakfast. School wasn't on session and I wished I had friends to visit as I was always indoors and going out was practically a taboo in our home.

“Take one thousand from my wardrobe, buy kerosene with it", Dad said, bringing me back from my very short trip to space. I hurriedly left to take the money, mischievously I thought about buying kerosene 800 instead of 1000. Somehow I managed to get away with most of my silly acts.

After washing the dishes and cleaning the table, I took the kerosene keg, an old groundnut oil keg that was washed clean and converted to a kerosene keg. It was past eleven, i had to hurry so we would make lunch on time. The walk from the house to the petrol station was a short but lonely one. The road was rarely used and there was three other roads to use.

‘Give me kerosene 800' I told the attendant.

A familiar face walked up to me just as i was about to pay. I met him days ago at the junction.

Dayo, not particularly the kind of guy a 14 year old would fantasize about, but I didn't mind as I thought I was about to have a friend that lives around.
 Somehow he charmingly persuaded me to leave the keg with the attendant so we could ‘spend time together' (chuckles)I went with him as the chances of me coming out later was very slim. That had to be the most stupid decision I had ever made. However I damned the consequences and followed him.

‘Where are we going?', my inquisitive self asked as I followed him sheepishly with my dusty flip flops and ‘stay-at-home' clothes.

‘ My house', he answered. ‘Hope you are ok with it?'

Deep down I wasn't comfortable with it but what other way would I have a friend if I don't initiate ‘trust?' I asked my foolish self.... Had I known...

‘Yes, I'm ok', I said against my better judgement.

It took about three minutes to get to his apartment.  I quickly studied his house, it had family photos hanging on the wall and a clock that wasn't working just above the TV. I forced myself to get comfortable, I had no wrist watch on and the clock wasn't functioning so I couldn't tell what time it was exactly.

‘What time is it?' I asked him

‘Few minutes after 12', he answered. ‘Are you in a hurry?'

‘Obviously', I answered almost rude.

He observed me a little, smiled and went inside. Before now i had noticed how men would stare at me. I had a rather big breast for my age. Although it never bothered me as it felt like i was used to male attention in my former world ...probably. Something was a little off, he didn't offer me anything. Slowly my eyes darted towards the door and it was....locked. I stared wide-eyed at the door.

‘Chizara?' He called from inside.
‘Yes?' I hesitated for a moment  before going in the direction of the voice. I had never felt so uncomfortable, the moment I walked into the room, just before I could blink, I felt myself being whisked onto the untidy bed in front of me. Dayo started to breathe like an overfed animal, I deeply regretted following him like a dummy. I struggled to free myself but it was useless, he had more strength.

Even tho I barely had strength, I fought tirelessly to secure my underwear as he made to remove them, I dug into his face with my nails but it was useless, the piercing pain jolted me, Dayo had deliberately brought me to his house to rape me??? ‘It is finished, I'm doomed ' I cried helplessly. While he had his way, he whispered tirelessly, ‘Are you enjoying it?' ‘baby?'
 Ahhh!!! I wished the bed would give way and that the ground would swallow me. I cried until he opened the door and I ran out like a mad woman. There was no way I was going back home. I have been gone, roaming around for three hours...I think. I wandered, wanting to get as far as I could.

As I limped like an accident victim recovering, I couldn't help but notice how people stared at me. I wished a truck would crush me that instant. My heart felt so heavy, it was too much for me to bear. It was getting dark. I didn't know what to do.

I walked back home .

On my way back I paid for the kerosene, I had left it at the station. The attendant looked at me worriedly. My life has changed, I knew it. The sudden need for vengeance crept into my idle mind, deep down I was broken. It felt like the devil found me. I bought biscuits with the remaining change from the store in front of our compound. My siblings started to bombard me with questions, Sopuruchi 11, Buchi 6, were so busy  asking questions. I couldn't help but apologize and give them the biscuits I had gotten earlier. I went inside to shower, no matter how many times I scrubbed, I still felt stained, the amount of water I used did nothing to dilute the toxicity I felt moving inside me. Physically I was helpless,  I took the clothes and underwear I was wearing to the back of the house and I burnt them. And cried.

Mother had barely settled inside the house when my siblings told her how I didn't make lunch for them because I went out since morning. It was hard to tell something was wrong with me because both face and eyes were completely expressionless.

‘Chizara!' she screamed my name from her room. I hesitated a little before answering .

‘Yes mum'

‘Is it true you did not cook today?' she queried

‘Yes', I looked at the floor while I answered, hopefully she would notice something was wrong, after all she is my mother, before I could look up I received a very thunderous slap.

My siblings had left the room as PHCN decided to provide light.

‘Mummy!' I cried. ‘I went out to buy kerosene but I was deceived and raped', I said between sobs.

‘Why won't they deceive you? When you don't have sense, let your father come back . Useless thing', she said.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing but I translated it to mean, it was my fault I got raped...... Somehow that was true.
I was raped, tears flowed freely from my eyes.

‘Idiot', Another slap descended on my small face. ‘Go and sweep the kitchen, infact clean everywhere!' she screamed.

I had never felt this wounded, I dreaded what would happen when my father return, ‘i won't be able to face it', I decided.

I slipped out through the kitchen door into darkness......

(To be continued)



NB: This is a fictional story, none of it is real.


Please leave comments, opinions and share

Xoxo